Chains

I was in chains and wholly unaware—
Did you know?

I thought tyranny was divine,
thought creation yearned for order
and order enabled peace— 

Hierarchy. It’s the will of God.

I thought submission was freedom,
thought relinquishing gave life
and I, ever willing, gave all—

Liberating. We don’t have to decide.

I thought recitation was voice,
thought opinion came from doctrine
and doctrine humanity’s light—

Listen, and you shall not depart.

I thought judgement was mercy,
thought truth came from honesty
and I harbored honest lies—

Truth teller. I speak the truth.

I thought cruelty was kindness,
thought love a tempestuous force
and took berating as a grace—

Love is hard. I am a hard man.

I thought pain was holiness,
thought my looming cloud a gift
and despondent soul my charge—

Suffering. We are called to it.

I thought obedience was honor,
thought honor meant respect
and respect meant follow suit—

Honor your father and you will be blessed.

I thought silence was loveliness, 
thought beauty flourished in a void
and withered on a wagging tongue—

Precious, a gentle and quiet spirit.

I thought virginity was virtue,
thought the valued were untouched
and the touched never whole again—

Shameful. Perception is reality.

I thought emotion was evil, 
thought sentiment deceptive
and intuition a wayward guide—

Beware. The heart is wicked. 

I thought suppression was liberty,
thought autonomy a sin,
and independence wretched conceit—

Authority. My spiritual right.

Did you see me
trembling beneath their gaze
my knees caving
until I could not rise again?

Did you watch me 
making sense of chaos
my mind crumbling
under their voice--your truth?

Did you know, and yet
chose not to tell? 

Were you looking down
apathetic, indifferent? 

Did it matter that I was chained
to your doctrine?

Or was it the same to you either way— 
one child trapped 
another free?

I was in chains and wholly unaware
and I cannot but wonder—
Do you know?