{"id":759,"date":"2023-08-17T12:17:37","date_gmt":"2023-08-17T12:17:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/?p=759"},"modified":"2026-01-26T00:09:46","modified_gmt":"2026-01-26T00:09:46","slug":"i-was-in-chains","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/?p=759","title":{"rendered":"Chains"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
I. 

Did you see me trembling 
under fury, caving under
knees too weak to rise

mind too lost to decipher 
the chaos, the curses
they called truth<\/em>?

What I thought--
did you know what I thought?
(you knew what I thought)

Was it apathy, then, indifference 
keeping you silent as I struck 
my iron chains against your 
ancient lawless stones?

II.

I thought tyranny was divine:
thought creation yearned for order
and order enabled peace. 
Hierarchy: the will of God.<\/em>

I thought submission was freedom:
thought relinquishing gave life
and I, ever-willing, gave all.
Liberating. We don\u2019t have to decide.<\/em>

I thought recitation was voice:
thought opinion was doctrine
and doctrine my only right.
Listen, and you shall not depart.
<\/em>
I thought judgement was mercy:
thought honesty the truth
and truth must be brought to light.
Truth teller. I'm speaking the truth<\/em>.

I thought cruelty was kindness:
thought love a monstrous force,
sometimes lulling, sometimes raging.
Love is hard. I am a hard man<\/em>.

I thought pain was holiness:
thought looming clouds a gift
and despondent soul a charge.
Suffering. We are called to it<\/em>.

I thought obedience was honor:
thought honor meant respect
and respect meant follow suit<\/em>.
Honor your father and you will be blessed<\/em>.

I thought silence was loveliness: 
thought beauty bloomed in voids,
and withered on wagging tongues.
Precious, a gentle and quiet spirit<\/em>.

I thought virginity was virtue:
thought the valued were untouched,
and the touched were never whole.
Shameful. Perception is reality<\/em>.

I thought emotion was evil: 
thought sensation was deceptive,
intuition a wayward guide.
Beware. The heart is wicked. <\/em>

I thought suppression was liberty:
thought autonomy a sin,
and independence wretched conceit.
Authority. My spiritual right<\/em>.

III.

I broke them. They fell
from my wrists and clamored.
Did it matter?

One child bound 
another free. Did it matter?

God I don't know why it matters:
I think you saw me 
and you let it be.

Unless (heresy)
you saw me 
and that's why I'm free.

<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I. Did you see me trembling under fury, caving underknees too weak to risemind too lost to decipher the chaos, the cursesthey called truth?What I thought–did you know what I thought?(you knew what I thought)Was it apathy, then, indifference keeping you silent as I struck my iron chains against your ancient lawless stones?II.I thought tyranny…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[32,103,175,334,431,25,784,20,85,170,168],"class_list":["post-759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","tag-authority","tag-darkness","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-emotional-pain","tag-god","tag-grief","tag-heirarchy","tag-pain","tag-poetry","tag-religion","tag-spiritual-abuse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=759"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1018,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions\/1018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bexroden.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}